Caught in a Bad Romance

In the advent of the new era of telenovelas, I am convinced that the times have twisted the idea of love to incredulous proportions. I wonder, were there actual evidences that Adam fell in love with Eve? No love letters or marriage bands or anything? Or how, in the first place, man came up with this concept called "love"?

Love according to wikipedia is an intense feeling of deep affection. A highly emotional thing. Is there even a way to quantify or qualify it? How could "love" be so sacred and revered and yet be so vague?

Like most things in life, everything happens for a reason. And i take it that we humans "love" for a reason. Some reasons are obvious but most, often go unnoticed. For most cases, the realization comes after the hype had subsided. It is with knowing that we spell all the difference and enables us to get a better grip of reality and sense.

Ask around "why do you love him/her?" and the obvious ones spill like bottled milk. He/she's hot, smart, intelligent, funny, rich, got a nice car, got a nice hair, has nice tits, nice butt, gives great blowjobs, blah blah blah. It's but natural to be attracted to desirable things. Like most ideas, media had the same twisting effect on Beauty. But is that valid enough for Love?

Humans even came up with different expressions of Love. Love letters, Love songs, sweet movies, TV shows etc.. We even managed to associate unknowing objects like red roses, cards, rings, teddy bears, chocolates, choco-flavored condoms and a whole lot of junk to Love. And thanks to Valentines, businessmen all over the world had a significant increase on their sales all because Love is in the air. But if these things had never crossed a single human mind, do you think population would stand a chance?

Please excuse the barb, but I believe that most of us (yes it includes me), came up with ridiculous and intense justification for Love. These are the reasons that we use to save our sanity. Humans love drama. It is with romanticizing and sensationalizing the idea of it that usually leads us to a false sense of Love.

Most people don't notice but usually they are in-love with the idea of being in love. Some do great feats to express their Love like crossing hundreds of miles to see his/her SO, buying expensive gifts, renting a billboard to tell the whole world how much they love him/her, writing a song, singing a song and posting it on youtube etc.. Sweet. Inspiring. That's the idea. It is because they adore their own image of having to do those things and win the "Most Romantic Partner in the whole world" award. They love who they are and who they seem to become.Think deeply then ask, "is this valid enough for Love?"

So he/she's there when you needed him/her the most. But if he/she wasn't there, it wouldn't be the same right? Is that valid enough for Love?

Here's another common one. The I-love-Him/Her-Because-He/She-Loves-Me thing. Need I say more?

Hanging on a long-lived relationship is not the same as holding on to it. Eitherway - hanging or holding, how does Time validate Love?

But in spite of all the rationalizing, there are things around us that we can never fully understand and that we are left with no choice but to believe. Paschal mystery. Like Love. With all the romanticizing aside, it is one of the most beautful things that God has given to man. It is what keeps a mother go through the entire 9 yards. It is the reason we are born. It is what gave birth to Music and Art. It is what makes a country free. It is the reason we cry, only to find a reason to smile. It is what friends are for. It is what makes us forgive. It is goodness at its best.
They always say that there's a reason the brain seats higher than the heart. But at the time of our death, the heart can still beat long enough after the brain has been clinically dead. By the end of the day, it doesn't matter how much sense you made out of things. Love may not always equate happiness. But we can always take comfort in knowing that we always, always.. have a choice.

Signs of Aging

At the age of 23, I hear a lot of people say, "you're still young." Oftentimes, I get this response when I whine about my life -- what roads i would take, where I would go or what I'll do next. For others, it would have been a compliment. But see, our country has a relatively young population. If all "young" people in this place (or let's say, even half) would keep on saying, "I'm still young," what do you think would happen?
I remember I started working when I was 18. I'm still in college then and working at the same time. Since then, I have been friends with people way older than me. Most in their late 20's or 30's. Some even in their 40's. I have seen their lives and heard their stories. I have witnessed their drama unfold and I am not naive to their problems, dreams and aspirations. Regardless of the chronology, we all reached one same equalizing plane.
I could say that growing up has its perks. Grown ups can drink beer, stay out late, skip school, shop and buy things, drive a car and go places, have sex and fall in love. On the other hand, grown ups have to work hard to earn money, pay bills, go bankrupt and broke, get a broken heart, get all fucked up and go through lots of deep shit. For them, everyday is a constant struggle to preserve the essential. At this point, friends and family can only go so far. By the end of the day, it's always a struggle all but your own.
Aging gracefully. Young at heart. At the prime of life. Delayed growth. No matter how they put in to words, aging is not synonymous to growing. I always say that the measure of maturity is the capacity to understand. Life's one tough bitch to understand though. We don't really have much choice but to live our lives the best we can, one purpose-driven day at a time.

An Open Letter for My Love

Have you ever been in love with someone you've never met? Never known even? Well I did. As a matter of fact, I do. And on this last day of the love month, please bear with me as i give it one last hurrah. Please excuse my mush with extra cheese. *wink*


(an open letter)

My love,


Hey. How have you been? I've been good myself. You don't know me, yet. But believe it or not, I've been waiting for you for the longest time. It's been lonely and hard without you. I've been wondering, when will I ever find you? When will you ever walk in to my life?

It's funny but in my mind I have actually been looking forward to our first coffee date. You look good on that plain tee. Neat. It's nice to hear you talk about yourself -- the things you like, everything about you. So, you love music? You like books? I like that movie too! You've got humor and wit. Nice. Did you know that your eyes sparkle when you smile? You laugh a lot and i like that. I think I'd like to know you more.

And so we dated a lot. We spent time together a lot. We texted and talked a lot. I know your stories and you know mine. What's amazing is that we never seem to run out of things to talk about. We simply click.

When I asked you out for dinner that night, I was cold and clammy. We had a great time like we always did. On our way home, I pulled over an empty lot, got out of the car, opened your door, pulled out a ring in my pocket and knelt down. You said 'yes' even before i opened my mouth to speak. You're so cute. I love you, Babe.

Guess what? I've been learning to play the guitar and the piano. I wanted to play you a song when the time comes. You'll take my vid while I sing you our song. Did you like that bolognese I made? I know you don't want your sauce too thick. Surprise!! I've got you flowers! Sorry I forgot the chocolates. But I bought you a cake, see? Can I bother you for a sec? Could you read this poem I made? And every time I take your arms to dance, your face is as priceless as it gets. Yeah yeah.. I will sweep you off your feet. I will make your heart melt. I will make you fall in love every single day. That's your punishment for making me wait this long.

That night was wonderful. You were incredible, Babe. The feel of your warm skin pressed against mine still lingers. There's not a part of you I would dare miss. I will savor every kiss, every touch. You're the most beautiful thing I have ever seen. Ours was a union of two bodies, two souls. Slow. Intense. Passionate. I will make love to you like you want it. I will make love to you anytime. I simply can't get enough of you. The best part is, when you cuddle and tuck yourself next to me after a long night. I like the smell of your hair, your musk. Damn.. It doesn't get any better than this.

And then we had this big fight. It's but ordinary that I piss you off sometimes. More often, you piss me off too. But this one's a major. You know I love you and I always will no matter what. Sometimes people can't help hurting each other. I promise to always be the one to patch things up. I'm sorry Babe. You know I would never want to hurt you. Doesn't matter whose fault it is. I will do everything to make it up to you. But can I have a day to cry to myself first? I get hurt too Babe. Don't worry, this ain't bringing us down. It's just another chance for our love to grow. Can I see that smile again? There..

It's amazing how time flies so fast. Now we're sitting by the beach toasting to our first year together. Then to our third. Then to our fifth. We will keep counting until we lost count. We will go places, share moments, live our dreams and spend our lives together. Nothing will keep us apart. Our hands, locked as we face every sunset only to wake up to our tangled bodies as we welcome each sunrise. Let it be known in the eyes of God and of men that I am hopelessly and irrevocably in love with you. Babe, will you marry me?

I had this letter printed out and posted for all the world to see. That in my time of loneliness and despair, I may take refuge in the hope that I will find you, eventually. That my lost and weary soul will soon find its way home in your arms. That time will come that when I hand you this letter, you will hold me close and never let go. That my words will reach you and touch you wherever you may be. I have so much love to give and it's all yours for the taking. I will wait. Because waiting is like a wine that only gets sweeter through time. Till we meet, My Love. I will be here.


Sincerely,






Some may think I'm desperate. or may be just plain nuts. But I believe in miracles. I would appreciate it if you would be a part of that miracle. You can repost this and help this heart find its way home. It's a big world out there. A few clicks is all it takes to bridge the gap. Thank you in advance.

Don't forget my links:

http://www.facebook.com/#!/profile.php?id=1168358398
lovethejace.twitter.com
bukojace.tumblr.com
heyitsjace.blogspot.com
http://www.downelink.com/iAMjace/

My Downelink profile 2011

Of all the stories you can ever tell, you can never be more well versed than your own life's tale.

I always say i am a simple guy. nothing fancy. Just the typical guy who laughs at a lot of things -- from knock knock jokes to the hypocrisy of our government. I can say i'm a person who has a good disposition in life. Life is a constant struggle towards happiness. Live it to the fullest. Do what makes you happy and to hell with the consequences.

I am a registered nurse. A title that serves me nothing more than my fleet license for legal identification. Don't get me wrong. I believe it's a very noble job. But I am still taking my time on what to do with my career, what roads to take on. I am not unemployed though, if you may ask. I earn for a living.

I am convinced that i am more matured that I may seem. I understand things in ways only a lot of people fail to acknowledge. My friends love me for my wit and humor. Some hate me for my honesty. They say I'm a bitch. I say reality bites.

I believe in redeeming quality, that everyone has a chance to be good at some thing in spite of the fuck ups. I believe in every person's individuality and the beauty of it. I believe in the goodness of every man's heart. I believe in the essence of friendship. I believe in moral values, etiquette and respect -- my parents deserve nothing less. I believe in God and His uncompromising and eternal love. I believe in soulmates, i have already found mine. I believe in a lot of things. Cause the things we believe in, are the things that we are made up of.

I've had my share of problems and pains. I've been fooled, used, betrayed, abused, neglected and exploited. It happens to the best of us. So it's been a good thing i have a strong sense of self. I have mastered the art of moving on. So people, spare me the drama.

I've been single for 2 years now. I am a person who has strong ideals for a relationship -- something a lot of people don't seem to get along well with. For one, i am looking for a partner, not a lover. I would want to be with someone whom i could do things with, go places with, explore life with. A person who can connect with me at the same wavelength. One who would share my passion, values and stories. Stiomeone who actually understands 'love'. Someone i would make love with each and everytime and cant get enough of it. Someone i would take care of just as he would take care of me. Someone i would fall in love with over and over again. Someone i have never met.

But as with any story, most thoughts are not deliberately written. The better half of it is given to the reader's discretion. A writer can only say so much. It's up to the audience to read between the lines.

The Boy with a Hat

It has been months since i last visited my Downelink account. It is somewhat a friendster for "people like us." I wanted to change the About Me part of the profile. Since a lot has changed now. But then I decided to remove it again. I just thought, "this suits my blog better." So here it is:

" It's been a long time since I last updated my profile. Or visited my account even. Much has changed. Same face, but a different heart. I have been wearin a hat a lot these days. That's why they call me "The Boy with a Hat."

Me wearin a hat goes far more than a new fashion statement. Quite ridiculous considering that i have dyed my hair with fiery light copper brown. Another 'new' thing for me. I have been puttin on a figurative hat these past several months. I have tried my best to avoid any threat to my peace of mind and my sanity. I have learned to play on the safe side and gamble less in most aspects of my life, specifically when it comes to love.

Eventhough now that I have clearly defined my comfort zone, I was able to broaden my horizons and discovered windows to better my self. I was able to focus on planning my future through rigid time lines and carefully set goals. In a way I could say I have matured a lot over a couple of months. I have seen life at an entirely different angle. Life is a constant struggle towards the top. It has no limits. Good life can't wait.

Over the past few months, I have spent most of my time trying to figure out what i really want to do with my life. Surely, I want to give myself and my family the good life. I've been workin with my company for over a year now, quite an achievement for my employment history. I have been practicing my passion for art by startin out a small scale events organizing business focusing on vintage themed concepts for souvenirs, invitations and physical arrangements. I am also an aspiring writer currently workin on my manuscript for my second short novel. And i am currently planning on starting out an on line store soon. Truly, life has no boundaries. It sounds quite absurd thinking that just a few months ago, none of these had ever crossed my mind.

I have been travellin quite a lot these days. Summer came in late for me and I have been to far more places this year than i have ever been yet. I have eaten different foods and immersed myself in different cultures and environment. Change is good. Change is refreshing. Wanderlust is my new vice.

My previous profile had been posted for maybe almost half a year now. I laughed at how cheesy and mushy I had been. You can say that i'm cynical. I often thought, love does not exist for me. I believe in affection. I've felt it. I believe in attachment. I have experienced it. But love has turned into a vague concept to me. I must be single for a reason. Whether i would ever fall in love or not, i couldn't care less. But somehow, in spite of my loss of faith, there is a small voice yearnin to be heard. Like a child who believes in Santa Claus. Waiting. Anticipating. Hoping that he would someday find his way to me.

I have lived my life at a different pace now. And I don't even know why I am still keepin my account here. Why do i even take time to update my profile and my photos. The funny thing is no matter how much i have changed, no matter how hard i try to deny it, I will always be the same old hopeless romantic guy that I have always been. Indeed, I am living at a different pace and running through it alone is not easy. Sometimes I wish someone would come along to run with me or stop me and tell me that it's ok to walk slowly at a time. Wherever these words may lead me -- to a lover, a date, a fling, or a friend, I pray that it leads me to something worthwhile. "

I sew you

So.. what have i been up to this past few weeks? i know i haven't been bloggin that much recently. truth is I am very very very busy. If i am not in the office workin my ass, takin calls, i'm usually snorin in the quarters, or starin blankly somewhere tryin to finalize my storyline for the manuscript of my 2nd short novel, or travelin off to some cool beach out of town, or planning on the logistics of my soon to open on line store, or facing my planner, planning (of course what else will a planner be for?) my future and checkin out my plans of going abroad. well i guess i'm not really that busy after all.

But today i did something different. another first. I learned how to use our antique Singer sewing machine. This one was actually taught way back in high school in Home Economics and i barely even tried to listen. Had i known that sewing your way to a perfect fit wardrobe would be this fun and fabulous, I would have aced it all the way. I might have even taken up fashion designing. Anyway here it is, i already learned it. At least. Better late than never.

So my mom thought me how to. Just get the thread through all the right hoops and loops, then you're good to go. The challenge is actually on stepping the pedal with the right timing and rhythm with the balancing wheel. But once you get the hang of it, everything is a breeze. I had my shirts, shorts and pants altered all by myself. Now my wardrobe will be more fab than ever. wee!

Last Chance

So what have I been up to these past few days? Well I've been goin around a lot. But the new thing is that I'm trying to enbark on a new career. I'll be writing a short novel. Yep, that's right. I'm starting on my manuscript for my short novel. Actually I'm done with the storyline for the first novel and figments of my 2nd novel are starting to boggle my mind. The short novel (which I don't have a title yet) is actually about a young queer man who meets this younger promdi kid. They start out their unusual relationship as lovers not really taking it seriously until things came up and they get to continue their lives together in the city. The story is actually about finding love when you least expect it and seeing how love can exist for 2 men of entirely different backgrounds. It is the love story for the cynical and the bitter as it tells scenes of realistic and probable circumstances. As my friend yuki describes it, "lahat na ng hinahanap mong love story andito na. eto na ang love story ng lahat ng love story." It's one of the best daydreams i've ever had and probably the reflection of the love story i never had for myself.

The second novel tells the story of a gay guy who gets involved with the company of 4 straight men. They are 100% straight in this story my dears. It basically is about the friendship between a gay guy and straight men and what happens when the gay guy falls in love with one of them. It's about finding what really matters -- love or friendship. It sounds like a gay version of meteor garden with a gay san chai but not really. The Last Chance by Allure is actually the song that inspired this story. (fyi Mariah wrote this song for Allure)

So wish me luck on this one. This is one of the few things that come unexpected. Thank God for the music and my crazy imagination. Till next time!

Bolognese ala Mudra de Linguini

Mother's day 2010. Sunday, May 9. My mom went out after lunch because she has to help preparing stuffs for the National Presidential Elections the next day. They came home just a little after 5 pm all tired and exhausted. Needless to say, we were not able to go out and celebrate this year's Mother's day like we used to every year. So instead, my sister and I decided to just throw in a good feast at dinner. And I became a bonafide Chef for a night.

So I googled this recipe and got it from http://www.pasta-recipes-made-easy.com/. The site is about a brit guy who got married to a girl with a family of italian pasta maestros and generously shared their recipes. I especially picked bolognese since it's the closest thing i know to my mom's good old homemade spag. Here it is:



Ingredients:
500g/17.5oz minced beef
1 x 395g/14oz tin of plum tomatoes
1 large glass of full-bodied red wine
1 medium onion (roughly chopped)
1 stick of celery (washed & roughly chopped)
1 medium carrot (peeled & roughly chopped)
2 teaspoons of tomato paste/purée
6-8 washed, torn basil leaves
400g/14oz spaghetti (100g/3.5oz per person)
Salt & pepper
Extra virgin olive oil
Equipment:
2 large pans/skillets (for sauce and pasta)
Vegetable peeler
Colander/sieve
Food blender/mixer (not essential, but I recommend this handheld mixer)
Timing
Around an hour
Step 1 – Prepare the onion and carrot by washing, peeling and chopping them (including getting rid of the carrot's ends). Roughly chop the celery too.
Step 2 – Mix these in your food blender for just a few quick seconds. If you don’t have a mixer, chop them some more - as finely as you can.
Step 3 – Cover the pan with olive oil, and throw in 2 full tablespoons of this 3-veg mixture.
Place this pan on a medium heat, cook and stir it for 3-4 minutes (until the veg starts to soften and brown).
Note: You should have some veg mixture left over. Wrap and freeze this for your next Bolognese!
Step 4 – Pour in a quarter of the wine and leave it for a minute or so (to evaporate some of the alcohol).
Step 5 – Add the mincemeat and break it with a spoon. Throw in half a handful of salt and a little pepper (as you like).
Cook and stir, on a medium heat, for 15 mins (to start the beef cooking).
If the sauce is dry at any point, add another quarter glass of wine (apply this rule throughout this recipe). If you don't have wine, a little water works.
Step 6 – Add the tomato paste, basil leaves (washed and torn) and your chopped plum tomatoes (but not the liquid from the tin).
Cook it all on a low heat for a further 30 mins, stirring every 3-5 minutes.
Step 7 – 10 minutes before the sauce’s time is up, boil a kettle and check your spaghetti's cooking time (see the packet).
Fill your second pan with the boiling water (adding a handful or two of salt) and boil the spaghetti, timing it so that it's roughly ready when the sauce's time is up.
When both are done, drain the spaghetti and divide it into your bowls.
You can add a little oil to stop the strands sticking if you like, then serve the sauce in the centre on top. Garnish with 2 or 3 full basil leaves.
Done! ‘Molto bene’ – very fine!

The finished product was a smashing hit! It tasted really good (not to brag, really) eventhough i missed the celery and substituted mushroom for it. I used linguini flat noodles for added appeal. The wine smelled scary at first but it was all awesome. Me and my mom couldn't have been more proud. It was a feast with overflowing pasta, pizza, soda and ice cream. The next day, there was a huge thank you note posted on the fridge. Belated Happy Mother's Day to all!

Ilocondia Summer Getaway

So I just got back from my Great summer escapade in Ilocos. I spent 4 days and 3 nights over at Ilocandia with my High School buddies Khen, Ces, Keng and Lhui. It was a blast! Suuper bitin! Indeed, you can never get enough of a good stuff.

DAY 1:
So we took the Maria de leon bus at Dapitan. It was a SUPER deluxe bus that i totally fell in love with it (and the hot guy i sat next to and spent 7 hours of intimate space with). It had a spacious reclining chair (like a lazy-boy) complete with leg rest, puffy upholstered seat, and dim yellow lights. We arrived at laoag City around 8 30 am and went straight to Auntie rosie and Nana's place. After lunch we went to the Ilocos Convention Center (where john lloyd and sarah shot a scene in You Changed My Life). Then went to Marcos Museum Malacanang of the North. After that we went to Paoay Church then straight to Fort Ilocandia. We spent the whole day cam-whoring (and pretty much for the rest of the trip). For day 1 I totally fell in love with Fort Ilocandia. It is a 5-star Hotel and Casino with its Spanish inspired interiors and buildings. If i ever get rich, I would definitely spend a night or two over at this place.




DAY 2:
So we woke up really early to get ready for the day's adventure only to leave the place a little after 8. Riding our Mercedes Benz van, we went first to Cape bojeador which is the oldest Lighthouse i guess in the country. Then an hour or two drive to the AMAZING Bangui Windmills. They were soo huge and there are a lot of them lined up in front of the shore. We were lucky to see the propellers movin and storin up energy like a generator. Then we drove up to Patapat Bridge, Blue Lagoon and Hannah's resort which was tagged the Boracay of the North. The shore is white but not with fine sand but with fine pebbles, pretty much like the ones at the Pucca Beach. The waves are deadly LOL! Then to our last stop which is the Kabigan Falls. Now this is my favorite spot! We trekked for roughly 30 to 45 minutes, crossed rivers only to find a piece of heaven at the Falls. I've never seen a falls in my entire life and i fell totally in love with it (and the HOT tattooed guy over there. i guess his name was rocky). We took a dip in the cool fresh water and headed straight back home at Nana's. Since it's still early in the evening (at least for us metro peeps), we strolled in the Plaza and feasted on some Laoag empanada. The church was creepy at night and the Plaza and streets are empty. The empanada dipped in Sukang Iloko was delicious. So we did some auditing, a few more chat, and called it a day.



DAY 3
So it's Vigan day. Early mornin we got up and packed our stuffs then went to the market to buy Vigan longganisa and dried dilis for pasalubong. Then we rode the bus (to my dismay was an ordinary bus) and went on a 2-3 hour trip to Vigan where we were picked up and went to Ate Annette's place. So we arrived late in schedule and we have a lot of itinerary. We went to Vigan for a calesa ride only to find that none of them are available since most of them are being dressed up and used for the parade. That day was actually the Binatbatan Festival of the Arts. So we have to go through Calle Crislogo on foot, in the heat of the noon sun. we shopped a bit and headed to an old Tower over at San Agustin Parish Church. The Tower was just magnificent in it's color and green surroundings. After that we went to a resort to take a dip since we are so drenched in the sun. It's 8:30 pm and we're still not done shopping. So we hurried back to Vigan plaza (which is not easy) and in a snap, we're done shopping. We were soo hungry and tired then and no fast food is open. So we chilled with the crowd, had our al fresco dinner at Cafe Leona. There was a street concert sponsored by SMB over at the plaza. We chilled and rested for a while with brownman revival (i think it's them) playing in the background before we headed home. It's time to pack our things and doing such is definitely not easy. It's been a long day, everyone is tired and there's still so much to do. It was until 1 in the morning that we dozed off for some quick nap before we leave.



DAY 4:
So we're leaving. I felt sad but i also felt that i miss the Metro. So we had our last minute camwhorin, waved our goodbyes and promised everyone we'll be back. We took Flo Rida bus on the way back which i will sooo not recommend. Out trip took around 12 hours from Vigan, we had around 6 or 7 annoying stop overs and they dropped us off at the most inconvenient spot to hail a cab in Cubao with all our baggages.

Sometimes living the life in the City takes its toll on us. The Law and the Companies do acknowledge that Vacation Leaves are necessary for obvious reasons. But beyond that, it is also essential to life in many ways. A refreshing change of environment is good once in a while. It keeps you sane. It tightens loose edges. It heals wounds. And it gives us new reasons to move on with life. Ilocos was great. The experience was rewarding. And the rewards are priceless.

The Picture

Stellar's "All Aboard" Summer Company Outing 2010. So this is one of the few times that i get the chance to be with all the people i love (at work). You see, since i am a very lousy person, I have different sets of friends over at work. First I have my Europe friends. I used to hang out with them a lot before until some issues came up so i had to sit back to my bay (Latin America). So I also have my Lat Am friends. Then of course, The Salon people. When you have a lot of friends, there are times that it's hard to decide who you would be hanging out with when you have them all in one place. One of the few hassles of being Miss Popular 2010. haha charing lang. but it's just that, you want to be with all of them. share laughs and stories with each and everyone of them. But being human, you can only do so much.

Just like that I was able to hang out with them just fine. I miss my europe friends bigtime. But I can't miss the laughs and "sharing" with the Salon people. I had my cam with me over at our Company outing. Since I don't want to throw away my year's worth of Likas papaya and some glutathione, I just decided to be the official photographer to all of my friends. After all, I have enough exposure in their cams as well hehe. So anyway i didn't swim that much, just chilled and lied in the sand with some beer, got some henna tattoo for free, sang my heart out in the videoke, tried to dive a few times and then took some more pictures.

As i took one of the few last shots over at the resort before we board the bus, I was able to have all of them (my friends) to stop and pose for the cam. I felt a pang in my heart as i looked at the screen and saw all of them smiling at me. Their faces are all lit up facing the camera, against the shimmering sea in the background. Pretty soon i will be saying goodbye to these people. It was as if they were all smiling for me -- me not being in the picture anymore. I've seen people come and go right before my eyes. And it sucks to know that for most of them, they were gone just like that. Maybe it's their choice, part of it may be mine. Things will never be the same after I resign. We may never see each other like we used to. But that doesn't mean it is the end of everything. After all, no rest days are too dull to be spent alone. And no place too boring to have a good time with these people. I'd probably not say goodbye to them. But rather I would say, "see ya around
bitches!"