Sunday, April 3, 2011

Caught in a Bad Romance

In the advent of the new era of telenovelas, I am convinced that the times have twisted the idea of love to incredulous proportions. I wonder, were there actual evidences that Adam fell in love with Eve? No love letters or marriage bands or anything? Or how, in the first place, man came up with this concept called "love"?

Love according to wikipedia is an intense feeling of deep affection. A highly emotional thing. Is there even a way to quantify or qualify it? How could "love" be so sacred and revered and yet be so vague?

Like most things in life, everything happens for a reason. And i take it that we humans "love" for a reason. Some reasons are obvious but most, often go unnoticed. For most cases, the realization comes after the hype had subsided. It is with knowing that we spell all the difference and enables us to get a better grip of reality and sense.

Ask around "why do you love him/her?" and the obvious ones spill like bottled milk. He/she's hot, smart, intelligent, funny, rich, got a nice car, got a nice hair, has nice tits, nice butt, gives great blowjobs, blah blah blah. It's but natural to be attracted to desirable things. Like most ideas, media had the same twisting effect on Beauty. But is that valid enough for Love?

Humans even came up with different expressions of Love. Love letters, Love songs, sweet movies, TV shows etc.. We even managed to associate unknowing objects like red roses, cards, rings, teddy bears, chocolates, choco-flavored condoms and a whole lot of junk to Love. And thanks to Valentines, businessmen all over the world had a significant increase on their sales all because Love is in the air. But if these things had never crossed a single human mind, do you think population would stand a chance?

Please excuse the barb, but I believe that most of us (yes it includes me), came up with ridiculous and intense justification for Love. These are the reasons that we use to save our sanity. Humans love drama. It is with romanticizing and sensationalizing the idea of it that usually leads us to a false sense of Love.

Most people don't notice but usually they are in-love with the idea of being in love. Some do great feats to express their Love like crossing hundreds of miles to see his/her SO, buying expensive gifts, renting a billboard to tell the whole world how much they love him/her, writing a song, singing a song and posting it on youtube etc.. Sweet. Inspiring. That's the idea. It is because they adore their own image of having to do those things and win the "Most Romantic Partner in the whole world" award. They love who they are and who they seem to become.Think deeply then ask, "is this valid enough for Love?"

So he/she's there when you needed him/her the most. But if he/she wasn't there, it wouldn't be the same right? Is that valid enough for Love?

Here's another common one. The I-love-Him/Her-Because-He/She-Loves-Me thing. Need I say more?

Hanging on a long-lived relationship is not the same as holding on to it. Eitherway - hanging or holding, how does Time validate Love?

But in spite of all the rationalizing, there are things around us that we can never fully understand and that we are left with no choice but to believe. Paschal mystery. Like Love. With all the romanticizing aside, it is one of the most beautful things that God has given to man. It is what keeps a mother go through the entire 9 yards. It is the reason we are born. It is what gave birth to Music and Art. It is what makes a country free. It is the reason we cry, only to find a reason to smile. It is what friends are for. It is what makes us forgive. It is goodness at its best.
They always say that there's a reason the brain seats higher than the heart. But at the time of our death, the heart can still beat long enough after the brain has been clinically dead. By the end of the day, it doesn't matter how much sense you made out of things. Love may not always equate happiness. But we can always take comfort in knowing that we always, always.. have a choice.

Signs of Aging

At the age of 23, I hear a lot of people say, "you're still young." Oftentimes, I get this response when I whine about my life -- what roads i would take, where I would go or what I'll do next. For others, it would have been a compliment. But see, our country has a relatively young population. If all "young" people in this place (or let's say, even half) would keep on saying, "I'm still young," what do you think would happen?
I remember I started working when I was 18. I'm still in college then and working at the same time. Since then, I have been friends with people way older than me. Most in their late 20's or 30's. Some even in their 40's. I have seen their lives and heard their stories. I have witnessed their drama unfold and I am not naive to their problems, dreams and aspirations. Regardless of the chronology, we all reached one same equalizing plane.
I could say that growing up has its perks. Grown ups can drink beer, stay out late, skip school, shop and buy things, drive a car and go places, have sex and fall in love. On the other hand, grown ups have to work hard to earn money, pay bills, go bankrupt and broke, get a broken heart, get all fucked up and go through lots of deep shit. For them, everyday is a constant struggle to preserve the essential. At this point, friends and family can only go so far. By the end of the day, it's always a struggle all but your own.
Aging gracefully. Young at heart. At the prime of life. Delayed growth. No matter how they put in to words, aging is not synonymous to growing. I always say that the measure of maturity is the capacity to understand. Life's one tough bitch to understand though. We don't really have much choice but to live our lives the best we can, one purpose-driven day at a time.

Sunday, February 27, 2011

An Open Letter for My Love

Have you ever been in love with someone you've never met? Never known even? Well I did. As a matter of fact, I do. And on this last day of the love month, please bear with me as i give it one last hurrah. Please excuse my mush with extra cheese. *wink*

(an open letter)

My love,

Hey. How have you been? I've been good myself. You don't know me, yet. But believe it or not, I've been waiting for you for the longest time. It's been lonely and hard without you. I've been wondering, when will I ever find you? When will you ever walk in to my life?

It's funny but in my mind I have actually been looking forward to our first coffee date. You look good on that plain tee. Neat. It's nice to hear you talk about yourself -- the things you like, everything about you. So, you love music? You like books? I like that movie too! You've got humor and wit. Nice. Did you know that your eyes sparkle when you smile? You laugh a lot and i like that. I think I'd like to know you more.

And so we dated a lot. We spent time together a lot. We texted and talked a lot. I know your stories and you know mine. What's amazing is that we never seem to run out of things to talk about. We simply click.

When I asked you out for dinner that night, I was cold and clammy. We had a great time like we always did. On our way home, I pulled over an empty lot, got out of the car, opened your door, pulled out a ring in my pocket and knelt down. You said 'yes' even before i opened my mouth to speak. You're so cute. I love you, Babe.

Guess what? I've been learning to play the guitar and the piano. I wanted to play you a song when the time comes. You'll take my vid while I sing you our song. Did you like that bolognese I made? I know you don't want your sauce too thick. Surprise!! I've got you flowers! Sorry I forgot the chocolates. But I bought you a cake, see? Can I bother you for a sec? Could you read this poem I made? And every time I take your arms to dance, your face is as priceless as it gets. Yeah yeah.. I will sweep you off your feet. I will make your heart melt. I will make you fall in love every single day. That's your punishment for making me wait this long.

That night was wonderful. You were incredible, Babe. The feel of your warm skin pressed against mine still lingers. There's not a part of you I would dare miss. I will savor every kiss, every touch. You're the most beautiful thing I have ever seen. Ours was a union of two bodies, two souls. Slow. Intense. Passionate. I will make love to you like you want it. I will make love to you anytime. I simply can't get enough of you. The best part is, when you cuddle and tuck yourself next to me after a long night. I like the smell of your hair, your musk. Damn.. It doesn't get any better than this.

And then we had this big fight. It's but ordinary that I piss you off sometimes. More often, you piss me off too. But this one's a major. You know I love you and I always will no matter what. Sometimes people can't help hurting each other. I promise to always be the one to patch things up. I'm sorry Babe. You know I would never want to hurt you. Doesn't matter whose fault it is. I will do everything to make it up to you. But can I have a day to cry to myself first? I get hurt too Babe. Don't worry, this ain't bringing us down. It's just another chance for our love to grow. Can I see that smile again? There..

It's amazing how time flies so fast. Now we're sitting by the beach toasting to our first year together. Then to our third. Then to our fifth. We will keep counting until we lost count. We will go places, share moments, live our dreams and spend our lives together. Nothing will keep us apart. Our hands, locked as we face every sunset only to wake up to our tangled bodies as we welcome each sunrise. Let it be known in the eyes of God and of men that I am hopelessly and irrevocably in love with you. Babe, will you marry me?

I had this letter printed out and posted for all the world to see. That in my time of loneliness and despair, I may take refuge in the hope that I will find you, eventually. That my lost and weary soul will soon find its way home in your arms. That time will come that when I hand you this letter, you will hold me close and never let go. That my words will reach you and touch you wherever you may be. I have so much love to give and it's all yours for the taking. I will wait. Because waiting is like a wine that only gets sweeter through time. Till we meet, My Love. I will be here.


Some may think I'm desperate. or may be just plain nuts. But I believe in miracles. I would appreciate it if you would be a part of that miracle. You can repost this and help this heart find its way home. It's a big world out there. A few clicks is all it takes to bridge the gap. Thank you in advance.

Don't forget my links:!/profile.php?id=1168358398

My Downelink profile 2011

Of all the stories you can ever tell, you can never be more well versed than your own life's tale.

I always say i am a simple guy. nothing fancy. Just the typical guy who laughs at a lot of things -- from knock knock jokes to the hypocrisy of our government. I can say i'm a person who has a good disposition in life. Life is a constant struggle towards happiness. Live it to the fullest. Do what makes you happy and to hell with the consequences.

I am a registered nurse. A title that serves me nothing more than my fleet license for legal identification. Don't get me wrong. I believe it's a very noble job. But I am still taking my time on what to do with my career, what roads to take on. I am not unemployed though, if you may ask. I earn for a living.

I am convinced that i am more matured that I may seem. I understand things in ways only a lot of people fail to acknowledge. My friends love me for my wit and humor. Some hate me for my honesty. They say I'm a bitch. I say reality bites.

I believe in redeeming quality, that everyone has a chance to be good at some thing in spite of the fuck ups. I believe in every person's individuality and the beauty of it. I believe in the goodness of every man's heart. I believe in the essence of friendship. I believe in moral values, etiquette and respect -- my parents deserve nothing less. I believe in God and His uncompromising and eternal love. I believe in soulmates, i have already found mine. I believe in a lot of things. Cause the things we believe in, are the things that we are made up of.

I've had my share of problems and pains. I've been fooled, used, betrayed, abused, neglected and exploited. It happens to the best of us. So it's been a good thing i have a strong sense of self. I have mastered the art of moving on. So people, spare me the drama.

I've been single for 2 years now. I am a person who has strong ideals for a relationship -- something a lot of people don't seem to get along well with. For one, i am looking for a partner, not a lover. I would want to be with someone whom i could do things with, go places with, explore life with. A person who can connect with me at the same wavelength. One who would share my passion, values and stories. Stiomeone who actually understands 'love'. Someone i would make love with each and everytime and cant get enough of it. Someone i would take care of just as he would take care of me. Someone i would fall in love with over and over again. Someone i have never met.

But as with any story, most thoughts are not deliberately written. The better half of it is given to the reader's discretion. A writer can only say so much. It's up to the audience to read between the lines.