Sunday, April 3, 2011

Caught in a Bad Romance

In the advent of the new era of telenovelas, I am convinced that the times have twisted the idea of love to incredulous proportions. I wonder, were there actual evidences that Adam fell in love with Eve? No love letters or marriage bands or anything? Or how, in the first place, man came up with this concept called "love"?

Love according to wikipedia is an intense feeling of deep affection. A highly emotional thing. Is there even a way to quantify or qualify it? How could "love" be so sacred and revered and yet be so vague?

Like most things in life, everything happens for a reason. And i take it that we humans "love" for a reason. Some reasons are obvious but most, often go unnoticed. For most cases, the realization comes after the hype had subsided. It is with knowing that we spell all the difference and enables us to get a better grip of reality and sense.

Ask around "why do you love him/her?" and the obvious ones spill like bottled milk. He/she's hot, smart, intelligent, funny, rich, got a nice car, got a nice hair, has nice tits, nice butt, gives great blowjobs, blah blah blah. It's but natural to be attracted to desirable things. Like most ideas, media had the same twisting effect on Beauty. But is that valid enough for Love?

Humans even came up with different expressions of Love. Love letters, Love songs, sweet movies, TV shows etc.. We even managed to associate unknowing objects like red roses, cards, rings, teddy bears, chocolates, choco-flavored condoms and a whole lot of junk to Love. And thanks to Valentines, businessmen all over the world had a significant increase on their sales all because Love is in the air. But if these things had never crossed a single human mind, do you think population would stand a chance?

Please excuse the barb, but I believe that most of us (yes it includes me), came up with ridiculous and intense justification for Love. These are the reasons that we use to save our sanity. Humans love drama. It is with romanticizing and sensationalizing the idea of it that usually leads us to a false sense of Love.

Most people don't notice but usually they are in-love with the idea of being in love. Some do great feats to express their Love like crossing hundreds of miles to see his/her SO, buying expensive gifts, renting a billboard to tell the whole world how much they love him/her, writing a song, singing a song and posting it on youtube etc.. Sweet. Inspiring. That's the idea. It is because they adore their own image of having to do those things and win the "Most Romantic Partner in the whole world" award. They love who they are and who they seem to become.Think deeply then ask, "is this valid enough for Love?"

So he/she's there when you needed him/her the most. But if he/she wasn't there, it wouldn't be the same right? Is that valid enough for Love?

Here's another common one. The I-love-Him/Her-Because-He/She-Loves-Me thing. Need I say more?

Hanging on a long-lived relationship is not the same as holding on to it. Eitherway - hanging or holding, how does Time validate Love?

But in spite of all the rationalizing, there are things around us that we can never fully understand and that we are left with no choice but to believe. Paschal mystery. Like Love. With all the romanticizing aside, it is one of the most beautful things that God has given to man. It is what keeps a mother go through the entire 9 yards. It is the reason we are born. It is what gave birth to Music and Art. It is what makes a country free. It is the reason we cry, only to find a reason to smile. It is what friends are for. It is what makes us forgive. It is goodness at its best.
They always say that there's a reason the brain seats higher than the heart. But at the time of our death, the heart can still beat long enough after the brain has been clinically dead. By the end of the day, it doesn't matter how much sense you made out of things. Love may not always equate happiness. But we can always take comfort in knowing that we always, always.. have a choice.

Signs of Aging

At the age of 23, I hear a lot of people say, "you're still young." Oftentimes, I get this response when I whine about my life -- what roads i would take, where I would go or what I'll do next. For others, it would have been a compliment. But see, our country has a relatively young population. If all "young" people in this place (or let's say, even half) would keep on saying, "I'm still young," what do you think would happen?
I remember I started working when I was 18. I'm still in college then and working at the same time. Since then, I have been friends with people way older than me. Most in their late 20's or 30's. Some even in their 40's. I have seen their lives and heard their stories. I have witnessed their drama unfold and I am not naive to their problems, dreams and aspirations. Regardless of the chronology, we all reached one same equalizing plane.
I could say that growing up has its perks. Grown ups can drink beer, stay out late, skip school, shop and buy things, drive a car and go places, have sex and fall in love. On the other hand, grown ups have to work hard to earn money, pay bills, go bankrupt and broke, get a broken heart, get all fucked up and go through lots of deep shit. For them, everyday is a constant struggle to preserve the essential. At this point, friends and family can only go so far. By the end of the day, it's always a struggle all but your own.
Aging gracefully. Young at heart. At the prime of life. Delayed growth. No matter how they put in to words, aging is not synonymous to growing. I always say that the measure of maturity is the capacity to understand. Life's one tough bitch to understand though. We don't really have much choice but to live our lives the best we can, one purpose-driven day at a time.