A Blast From the Past

Today I went home 4 hours early. My body isn't feeling quite well today. Probably still tired because of the Calatagan Company outing we had yesterday (will be posting about it soon). Since I'm not actually feeling sleepy, I sat back watched My Sister's Keeper (which made me cry buckets of tears), updated FB, watched some porn, and got me to open my multiply account (which i have not opened in ages). I almost forgot that i've got blogs there (and i realized i used to put a lot of side comments in my own statements there, like this). So I'll be reposting some of the interesting ones out here.

Here's one which was dated October 30, 2007.

A Day After My Birthday

Its october 30 2007. now i am 20 years, 23 hours and 6 minutes old. its really funny how i matured in a year. i can say i matured more as i turned 20 than i was when i turned 19. honestly, i had the most boring birthday ever. but who cares? as we all grow up, people start to think less about how special their birthday should be. i spent my birthday without my parents. they're at work till 9pm. i cant go out because i have to stay home with my sister. my sister was sick (suka-tae). my brother's at the other house (as usual). i had danggit for lunch on my very birthday (masarap naman in fairness). a had a couple of greetings. just a couple (sa mga nakalimot.. magiging matumal ang sex life nio). i had no gifts. there was a liquor ban (oh shit!). i was just sittin next to the pc the whole day. i took a bath around 330 pm (mejo amoy aso na ko). i went to church alone. actually it felt good tho. i had the chance to kneel and pray (as i dont usually kneel when i pray like after the communion). i conversed with god alone. i had many things in mind. i had been thankful for a lot of things. i had new friends. new experiences -- both good and bad. and many things that have enriched me. for a sem God taught me how to be alone. the friends i had in that block ditched me for the research group. that was a huge blow for me tho i had been strong enough not to show it. i met new sets of friends. my ever reliable and loving kapusod research group (kaya nga kapusod hindi bcloptuv). and an odd circle of bisexual males and females (salamat kay miko). whatever i am right now, it's because of the people around me. so i prayed for them. i also thought, before i used to count how many people greet me on my birthday. usually it never fell shorter than a hundred or else id feel really bad (tsk tsk..). but now, i only had i guess around less than 30. but it didnt really matter. as long as the people closest to me remembered, its good enough. in less than a year, i learned how to live simply. i had been blinded by my false illusion of havin a popular-bitch-regina-george-type image. (well that's because some people actually told me im like one so its not all about me). i had been ultimately mayabang, egocentric and carefree. many people hated me tho they never had the courage to reveal theirselves. except for one (ang arte mo nagsorry n nga ako!). well anyway, i had been deeply bothered by my insecurities -- thoughts about myself i never thought i had. i began thinking how ugly i am, how unglamorous my life turned out to be, how unpopular ive become, how a loser i was, and above all, i had been so damn alone. but before i sank deep into these things, one phrase got me through it. "eh ano naman?" damn right. eh ano naman? because of that enlightenment (hwow), i matured. these things were included in the things i had prayed for. so i bought myself some ice cream and a cake. i dont want to celebrate my birthday without one. i had that banoffe pie. actually, its not that good. im not a fan of nuts and bananas really (ung totoong bananas as in the yellow one). the strawberry ice cream was good. i cooked carbonara. and god it tasted really good (hindi sa pagyayabang per naknakan ng sarap ung carbonara ko). it was my first ever cooking and i felt really proud of myself. i finished the day off checkin my friendster and updatin my multiply. it had been a simple day. my birthday is a day i should spend with myself. (teka lang moment ko to). its a personal day really. a time to ponder to yourself on the things that transpired in you over a year. it goes beyond the lavish celebrations, new clothes, endless parties and overflowing food. its about feeling good about what you've become and being thankful for it. i am no longer jc the bitch goddess.( i find it really immature and inappropriate na). i am more than just a walkin attitude problem. and im no longer a teenager. so i better be more than what i was. i know i will be.


photo taken: October 29, 2007